Terrible advice for indie authors
April Fools’ Day is the perfect day to give you the best worst advice we could come up with. We hope you enjoy a few laughs with us.
- Go to a public place to share your book, bring a megaphone to reach more readers. 📣
- Use a simple paint program on your computer to make your cover. You can save money and time. Use Word Art to make it more exciting! 🎨
- You should ALWAYS write about vampires, princesses, and spaceships. Be sure to feature every element on your cover. 🧛🏻👸🚀
- Use lots of exclamation marks in your writing to create drama!!!
- NEVER seek feedback before you publish. 📝
- If you know a teenager, let them edit your book. They’ve taken an English course.
- Using ‘said’ is boring. Limit it’s use to 3x in your book. Use other speaker tags like: opine, divulge, assert, or discuss. Get creative!
- Price your book right to make money. $99 at least. You put a lot of time into it! 💰
- Anyone who says your first draft isn’t amazing is just jealous.
- When recording your audiobook, make sure your kids and dogs are nearby, and your spouse is doing remodeling. It will give the recording depth and a touch of reality. 🛠️🐕
- Show a unique style! Dress as a unicorn for your author picture. 🦄
- Daily emails are not enough for your fans. They want to hear from you at least three times a day!
- End your book on a cliffhanger and don’t release another one for at least three years. Keep those readers on the edge! 🧗
- For research, watch a lot of movies. If Hollywood filmed it, it must be true! 🎬
- If you write historical fiction, pick a country you’ve never visited, the time period you’ve never studied, give your protagonist a profession you’ve never practiced, and write in your second language. (Oh wait, that’s not a joke, that’s what my author friend Alina actually does) 😉
*Real* Tip of the Week
Be careful where you get information. Just because it’s on the internet doesn’t mean it’s true.
AuthorHelpM4 